Staring into the void

i opened my eyes, i am sitting in a chair, I took a look around but nothing is familiar. I have no idea where i am. I let out a scream but no one heard because, well, no one else is there. still, it was quite an effort. my heart starts pounding and every breath is too shallow that its starting to hurt. i cant get ahold of things, what is going on, everything is just spinning around way too fast, i dont know where and what to do next and i dont even remember how i got here. and now im stucked. metaphysically, mentally, and emotionally. there’s just no getting out. and now im panicking, I start to take a look back on life and it cannot end in this room. not today, not like this. I need to act fast and now im thinking of every single possible way to escape but nothing comes up. this is a pretty dark room and I am not seeing any doors. I am chained and my mouth is gagged. the ground in which i am laying my foot in is damned and the walls look like it just survived the second world war. the air is rotten. how long have i been here, i wonder. I would very much like to consider myself as a person of bravery but right at this moment its like the entire world is handing me every reason why Im no better than an airhead and I am ashamed of it. The person who put me here must have had a good reason, though i am not seeing myself to ever understand why. What does he want from me? What does he expect out of me? And why the hell did i not get atleast a comfy chair? I feel dizzy from dehydration, Im starting to lose hope. This is an endless hell. I am lost and no one even knows im here. I start to think of the people that matter and cling to their idea expecting my drive and will to be reinforced. An amount of saltwater came bursting out because i am just tired amd just want it to be over but i stoned my heart out thinking of the people i love. I wish i had told them i love them and how they mean everything to me. I allowed a silly feeling that maybe i brought this to myself. That the man locked me up in this room because i act all high and mighty and putting me on a chain would make me realise that i cant have too much pride because i am just another human being who dont have control over everything. Or maybe its just the dehydration that makes me think of things. I dont know if im ever going to get out of here alive. Maybe the man who got me here will show himself soon and we’ll have some serious talk. He better do, because i am bored.

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On Feminism, Anti-Feminism, and the Things That Mystify Me

Kelly Barnhill

I am ten years old. I am riding a banana seat bike through the alleys. I am allowed to go as far as 31st Street, and then I have to turn back. Words cannot describe how much I love this bike. It is turquoise with sparkly flower decals and I ride back and forth through blocks of alleys singing the entire “Mary Poppins” soundtrack at the top of my lungs. My knees are scratched. My hair needs a comb. I probably haven’t brushed my teeth.

A man in a car pulls up. He opens the window. He asks my name. I have been well-trained. I have learned about good touches and bad touches in school. I know that good people don’t drive up to children on bikes. My teachers have been very clear. I take a good look at his face. I notice his red hair. I take…

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